an Important Passage

pg. 241-242 bottom of pg. 241 to the middle of pg. 242

"I could never beat Peter. No matter what I said or did. I never could."
So it came back to Peter. "He was years older than you. And stronger."
"So are the buggers."
She could see his reasoning. Or rather his unreasoning. He could win all he wanted, but he knew in his heart that there was always someone who could destroy him. He always knew that he had not really won, becasue there was Peter, undefeated champion.
"You really want to beat Peter?" she asked.
"No," he answered.
"Beat the buggers. Then come home and see who notices Peter Wiggin anymore. Look him in the eye when all the world loves and reveres you. That'll be defeat in his eyes, Ender. That's how you win."
"You don't understand," he said.
"Yes I do."
"No you don't. I don't want to beat Peter."
"Then what do you want?"
"I want him to love me."


When I read this passage, I suddenly got flicked on. It was such a short statement, but the quick shock I received totally changed my view of the whole story. The last sentence, "I want him to love me" was the special one. I couldn't believe what I read so I read that area over and over again until it got stuck in my head. Ender wanted to make a truce between Peter. He actually wanted to have Peter love him. All this time I thought Ender abohorred and also was frightened of Peter. I thought there was a serious hate between them that Ender wanted to win. What Valentine thought up there was what I thought too. Reading this almost made me cry; it was so touching. All Ender wanted from Peter was love, but it was clearly shown and written that Peter never loved anyone but himself. Ender had and wanted affection, not only to Valentine, but to the antagonist of the book: Peter. I realized that Ender was not just a cold, boring guy who is just a genius; he was a child, an innocent boy who's reaching out for love. This passage was quite meaningful; so touching and finally not about the subject of futuristic battles/war.
This scene reminds me of little children who just want love from their parent so much, but the parent doesn't give them that love because of work, apathy, or other personal reasons. I have always felt sorry for those children; they would always have a hard time growing up. For example, in the movie Nanny Diaries, the boy was so cute and was so reaching out to his dad, but his self-centered, selfish father was so careless and annoyed for his own family.